The Visitation
by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Summary: Oneshot. A normal day for Darth Vader turns bizarre. Extremely so. Star Wars/My Little Pony crossover. Weird. Very weird. Most cracky crack!fic I've ever done. Complete.


**This is my entry for Kenya Starflight's first annual Star Wars fanfiction competition. It's been a while since I did any MLP fanfiction, and the absurdity of MLP crossovers can often be amusing, so I thought "what the heck" and decided to do a Vader-meets-ponies story.**

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**THE VISITATION**

Darth Vader looked coldly down into the Admiral's eyes, his menacing figure the last thing that the doomed man would ever see.

"You have failed me once too often, Admiral," said Vader, in that voice that the fanciful had often remarked belonged to Death itself. The Admiral had reprimanded them for this many times; now, looking up at the inhuman mask that was the most that anyone saw of Lord Vader, the Admiral couldn't help but perceive a tinge of irony in the situation. He closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable crushing grip on his throat that would end his unremarkable life.

There was a quiet _pop_ from behind them.

"Aww, damn," said a girl's voice. "Sunny, I think your translocation messed up again."

The Imperials turned to stare at the pair of teenagers and the group of colourful equines that had materialised in the middle of the bridge.

"Aww, man," complained the unicorn, a bright-yellow creature with the tattoo of a sun on its flanks, "not again. I hate it when this happens."

"Remember that time we ended up in Australia by mistake?" asked the purple Pegasus reminiscently. "Firefly stepped on that snake and it chased him for half a k. Emily said that it was a taipan."

"Whatever," interrupted the girl who had first spoken. "I think that we should be more concerned about where we are _now_."

The boy beside her looked around thoughtfully, taking in the staring, uniformed officers, the technology that hummed on every wall, and the view of deep space beyond the observation deck.

"Well, it sure ain't Kansas, Dorothy," he offered. The white pony behind him hit him over the back of the head with one of her hooves. The girl just scowled at him.

Vader just stared quietly, oddly calm. That was it, he thought. Palpatine had finally driven him mad. All those requests for golden bathtubs, all those orders that Vader iron his cape because the creases were a disgrace to the Sith that time that Vader had walked in to find Palpatine dancing to Glenn Miller's 'In the Mood' with a bemused Imperial Guardsman – it had all built up until Vader's mind had cracked under the strain. There was simply no other explanation for the appearance of living versions of 'My Little Pony' appearing out of thin air in the middle of the bridge...

...unless Palpatine was messing with him again. Vader frowned as the purple pegasus observed that one of the engineers had been playing Solitaire on his console, but didn't really notice. Was it possible that Palpatine had somehow engineered this situation in order to bewilder his apprentice?

He had taken to doing things like that lately. Really, it was about time that the man was put in a home. He was positively childish. And he kept contacting Vader to ask him nonsensical questions like had he seen his velvet cloak, and half the time he called five minutes later to ask precisely the same inane question, having forgotten their previous conversation completely. If only these lapses had affected his planning abilities as well, Vader thought sadly. How was he supposed to overthrow his Master like every good Sith apprentice should when said Master insisted on making it impossible for him to do so? The man was insufferable.

Vader was pulled from these reflections by the girl tugging on his cape.

"Hey," she greeted him. "Hi. We're kind of lost. Do you know where we are?"

Vader drew himself up, radiating darkness, his gaze focused on the small hand gripping the black material that swept from his shoulders.

"You are aboard the Imperial Star Destroyer _Executor_," he replied icily. The girl took the hint and obligingly let go of the cape. Vader eyed the wrinkles dolefully. He'd need to iron that bit again now. He looked back up in a way that did not bode well for the girl.

Vader found himself staring into the face of the pegasus.

"Nice threads, dude," she noted brightly. "Love the mask. It's got a real 'Lord of the Underworld,' vibe to it."

She moved around behind him to get a better look at his cape. One outstretched wing hit Vader in the face, and for a moment he found himself breathing in a musty, oily smell from the bright feathers.

"The cape's great, too, man," she enthused from behind him, while Vader wondered when the stang the impossible creature had last bathed. The teenage girl rolled her eyes and made an apologetic face. The pegasus trotted into sight again.

"I like this guy," she told the girl. "He's like a Prince of Darkness."

The girl looked pained and steered the pegasus over to the other two ponies and the boy. There was a quick, mostly-unintelligible discussion.

"It's cool," the yellow unicorn announced. "I can get us there now."

"Right," the girl said briskly. "Let's go then."

The entire group winked out of sight.

Vader stood for a moment, simply staring at the spot where they had been, before striding out of the bridge to find something strongly alcoholic, leaving the forgotten Admiral to near-kill himself by laughing hysterically.


End file.
